''Give every man they ear, but few thy voice'' - Hamlet

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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.

Dreams, Thoughts, and other mishaps
Thursday, May 29, 2003  
hey all... Ive had a pretty relaxing day. I'm just sitting back having a screw driver at the moment. My car is getting inspected tommarow and i'm hoping that nothing will need to be replaced on it. I dont have enough money to start making any repairs. I need to stop smoking cigs. I have smoked so much lately that my throat has begun to hurt me. :( I go through phases of smoking hopefully soon I wont want to smoke anymore. I talked to my dad who claimed to send me my car registration but Hes a mess as of lately because his fiance left him. Who knows whats going on with that, I really dont care, it's just anoying when I have to become the mature one between the two of us which is more often then not. Anywhey I'm looking forward to a fun weekend. It's my great grandma's 85th birthday and rob is comming over for the weekend :) anywhey i'm going to go play some videogames and do something cuz i dont have work tommarow. nyte all :)
9:17 PM

Monday, May 26, 2003  
There are a lot of things in life which we cannot prepare for. One of the unique things about it is that there are many obsticals that are thrown our way. It is the way in which we handle these obsticals that define us as a person. I have always belived that whatever we send out will return to us. Sometimes this is not the most comforting thought because it may not alleviate immediate stress or grant us any comfort. Tonight I had a feeling that I havn't had in a long time driving home. It reminded of the ongoing hecticness which life throws at us, but it was acompanied with a structure and was not chaos. I love this feeling and I am feeling at ease.

These last four days I have spent with rob. They have been wonderful and I have enjoyed it a lot. I hope that our relationship persists and grows. If two people are completely compatable that doesn't mean there aren't hardships or dissagreaments between them. It is exactly those hardships which create a stronger bond between two people, friends, or otherwise. Tonight I was looking at him and it was very poetic. There he is a beautiful boy, blond hair, blue eyes standing under a street light smoking a ciggarette after a stressfull day. Suddently, the smoke made a ring formation above his head just perfectly to resemble a halo. It was almost like saying I was in the midst of an angel. He is a really sweet boi and I'm glad to call him my boyfriend. :) Thank you sweetie. I cant wait to see you again.

As for now I'm going to sit back play more of silent hill, maybe write in my real journal, and dream about rob as I fall asleep to his favorite movie :) I wish you all the best and may god be with you

-Riding on a shooting star... sending smiles from afar... waving hello from up above... giving out thoughts of love. Gnite all

10:57 PM

Thursday, May 22, 2003  
it's been a while since ive made an entry. I've just been stressed out with my jobs and lack of money. Thank god I actually got a paycheck today. Now if I could just find a steady job. I also need to start paying more attention to my soul and body. I have been abusing myself via lack of sleep, meditation, and proper fude. I'm tired and as usually I went out and visited pegs. I saw lurpy first which was great but I left pegs early cuz it just sucked. I am started to not be interested in pegs as much. I still love dancing but it's hot and the majority of people who go there are blah... maybe I'm just getting older... who knows Anywhey I have some errands I need to take care of tommarow and I still need to meditate tonight so I'm heading to bed. SUGAR PLUM FAIRIE HERE I COME!!!!
11:17 PM

Monday, May 19, 2003  
Finally the CMU job is done. I'm so happy because they have had me doing a lot of stressfull tasks. I have also met someone recently who is really kewl. We have been hanging out a lot lately and it makes me happy. I'm really interested in seeing where things go. As for now i'm trying to get a job for the rest of the summer and have some fun in the process because this is like my last summer. I dont like this whole growing up thing. I still feel like I'm 17 at heart. I'm tempted to go to grad school for a few reasons. We shall see what happens. :)
6:38 PM

Friday, May 09, 2003  
I just got back from turning in an application to the last place that I got a job. After speaking with my manager I was informed that I would have to reapply. Okay, so it's a little set back nothing major. When I went to fill out another application I was told from a person who I trained that he thought I was fired for not showing up. If this is the case It would have been nice for someone to tell me. So, I guess I'm looking for a job now and the task is going to become difficult once again. Sigh... maybe cedar point isn't a bad idea after all.
1:55 PM

Monday, May 05, 2003  
Ive recently realize that I look for very specific people in my life. To become close to me is not a task, it just requires the correct demeanor. All in all I want what everyone else does. someone to relate to. someone I can talk to without saying a word. It just seems every time I get close something comes between us. I need a strong force that will buckle to my will at times. I need intelligence, motivation, openmindedness. Someone who lives life on the edge, yet knows when its time to be responsible. My only hope is that someday I'll find someone like that. I have once and have been scared from it ever since. I dont know if the adage is right. Tis better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all. All i know is that I'm still looking for him
9:52 PM

Friday, May 02, 2003  
I just got back from a night out with the fam. I got pretty buzzed and had a great time. Some older woman was hitting on me and flahsed me at a bar we went to. :) I think my mom got pretty wasted for her norms. I hope that we do this again. as for now i'm going to chat for a fwe and head to bed. Nyte alll

11:01 PM

hey all,
I just had a great birthday. Thank you everyone who had a hand in it. You really made one of the best times I have had in a long while. I went to pegasus and then to eat n park and everyone sung happy birthday to me. :) I was so not expecting that. :) :) :) I'm so happy. Tommarow me and my family is going out and getting wasted. I'm going to sleep in as long as possible for tommarow. I also had a wonderful beltane. I did my beltane ritual and I couldn't be more content with that. I really enjoyed being at home because I feel as though my forces have become clearer to me. The only thing I could possibly ask for more is a loving boyfriend who understands me.

1:24 AM

Thursday, May 01, 2003  
Happy B-day to me :)

I went out and held my usual beltane ritual today :) I really enjoy doing that. Later on tonight I'm going to pegs and going to shake what my momma gave me. Thank you everyone who has made/ and is going to make my birthday enjoyable. I'm going out to dinner with my mom at the Olive Garden in a few. Hopefully after the club I'll be chillin with lurpy and spending the night :) I havn't seen him or anyone in that house in ages. :) As for now I'm going to arrange my room and see what comes out of it. Merry part :)

12:25 PM

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